I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
