Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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