He is an equal opportunity slut.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
