moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What drink are we having for lunch?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize