Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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