The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
