Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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