When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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