Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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