She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
