You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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