thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
