shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
