Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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