I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize