Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
