I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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