he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
