5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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