He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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