Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
