please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
