There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
