All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
