your room smells of hookers.
And success
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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