You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
