Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
