you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
