Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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