probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
