When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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