you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There's even glitter on my cock...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
