My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
