bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
