I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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