I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
