Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
