i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
