I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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