By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
