check it out our google latitudes are spooning
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
