i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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