Moan for me like Helen Keller
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
