dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
