dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
