he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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