i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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