I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
