Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
