Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
