Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
