you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Alive.
So much puke
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize