dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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