He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I know her cup size but not her name....
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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