I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
