This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My feet surprised me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
