i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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