do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
