Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
FUCK WHALES
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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