I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize
