we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
