Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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