She said her name was "party"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize