Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
