There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
